Levicorpus Or: When His World Turned Upside Down
by ChoCedric
Summary: The day James Potter grows up starts like any other. It is a beautiful spring day in April of his sixth year. From this day on, things will never be the same again.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: I got sudden inspiration to write this one. I hope it's good, because I tried to put a lot of emotion into it. Please tell me what you think! Thanks!

Levicorpus

Or: When His World Turned Upside Down

By: ChoCedric

The day James Potter grows up starts like any other. It is a beautiful spring day in April of his sixth year, and he wakes up excited because it is a Hogsmeade day. As he and his three best friends, who have been together through thick and thin, chatter amongst themselves whilst getting ready, he smiles; he cannot help but think of all the mischief they will get up to today.

The Hogsmeade trip, just like the beginning of the day, starts like any other. He and the other Marauders go to Zonko's and stock up on joke items, laughing as they think up pranks to play on old Snivellus and the Slytherins. Oh, how it feels to be carefree teenagers, joking and pranking the day away.

Afterwards, they go to lunch at the Three Broomsticks, where Sirius proceeds to charm the hell out of Madam Rosmerta, making her blush and giggle. James knows it's just for show, though, because right now, Sirius is actually dating a girl who he is - can you believe it! - actually in love with. He has seen his best friend go through many flings, but he knows instinctively that this one is different; Sirius and Adelina really do have a special connection.

After they've snickered their way through butterbeers followed by fish and chips, they head out of the pub. It is as they are walking down the street that all hell breaks loose.

BANG! BOOM! CRASH!

And then there are flashes of light, what seems like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them, and then ... Screams. Screams, screams, and more screams. It's the Death Eaters!

Peter, terrified out of his wits, stays with James while Sirius and Remus go off in different directions. Since they are older students, they know they need to try to round up as many of the younger ones as possible and herd them all back to the school before anyone gets hurt or worse.

And James Potter grows up as he and Peter walk down the street, for it is then that he sees it.

Upside down. They're upside down. Villagers of Hogsmeade, students, oh Merlin ... They're floating, floating, floating, being controlled by someone else's whim, their mouths open in helpless screams of horror.

And James goes numb. At this exact moment he can't feel anything at all. Only Peter's squeaks of fear urge him to move forward. He can't take his eyes away from the sight of the people floating, can't take his eyes away from this twisted parody of entertainment. He moves on autopilot, his mouth working mechanically as he tries to calm students down and tells them to run, run as fast as they possibly can, back to the safety of Hogwarts.

The first emotion he feels is relief when Dumbledore and a group of teachers and Aurors come charging to the rescue. As soon as Dumbledore is spotted, many Death Eaters Disapparate, but some, thank Merlin, are captured. James knows they'll be on their way to Azkaban very, very shortly.

Everything is still a blur until he meets up with Sirius and Remus again. Sirius's face is white; he looks like he's seen a ghost. When James asks what's wrong, all Sirius says is, "Adelina's badly hurt. I don't care what anyone says. I'm going to St. Mungo's to be with her."

In the end, the Marauders convince Dumbledore to let them all go to the hospital so they can be with Sirius in his time of need. James's heart is still racing as he sits in the waiting room with Remus and Peter, and the numbness is back, encasing his entire body. He can't possibly deal with what's just happened, not right now.

A few minutes later Sirius walks out of a hospital room, looking even paler than before. His jaw is set, his hands balled into tight fists. All he does is look at his friends, and he says in a voice which is barely audible, "It's over."

And James knows what that means with a sickening clarity: Adelina has just died.

xxx

The next thing James is aware of is being back at Hogwarts, in the sixth-year boys' dormitory. He's sitting on his bed, and he can still feel nothing, absolutely nothing. Sirius is on his bed too, not letting any of his friends comfort him. James knows that soon, the facade will break, and Sirius will explode, and it won't be pretty. Remus isn't in the room - James doesn't know where he is, but knows instinctively that he won't appreciate company either. Peter is still white and shaking on his own bed.

Five minutes later, what James predicted about Sirius comes to horrible fruition. He hears bangs and thwacks as Sirius begins to throw his things around the room. "She fucking died in my arms! That bitch Bellatrix killed her!" he bellows. And then, instead of bursting into tears like most people would, he starts laughing.

And the laughter scares James like nothing he's ever heard before. It's a laughter of madness, of complete instability. He runs over to Sirius's bed, where he sees that his face is contorted into an expression of such twisted rage and helplessness that it floors James. It's not often that he thinks of his best friend as a Black, but the sheer insanity in his eyes makes the resemblance clear. But Sirius is his friend and Merlin, James won't abandon him now, not now. "Padfoot! Sirius, stop! Please!" he shouts, attempting to put a hand on Sirius's shoulder and bring him back to reality.

But Sirius roughly pushes him away. "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" he roars, spit flying from his mouth as the laughter becomes even more deranged.

And James does as he's told, because there's a certain look in Padfoot's eyes that can't be argued with. He swiftly exits the room, noticing fleetingly that Peter is no longer on his bed; he must have left the room before him. As he leaves Sirius's unhinged laughter behind, he has an awful feeling that one of these days his best friend will go off all half-cocked and there'll be nothing he can do about it.

He runs through the common room, not paying attention to anyone, and escapes into the corridor. Once he's there, he continues to run with all his might, not knowing where exactly he's going but knowing he has to get away, get away, get away. For it is now, at this precise moment, that the numbness starts to wear off.

And the images come shooting back to him like a tsunami, like a flood. Those people, in the air, upside down ... Levicorpus. He knows that was the spell that had been used. Horror grips him like nothing he's ever felt before - he, James Potter, acted exactly like that and took pleasure from it. He, James Potter, acted like a fucking Death Eater.

All of a sudden, he collapses on the hard floor, shaking like a leaf. His breath comes in gasps, and it's moments later when he realizes he's sobbing. Tears are streaming down his face as his world crashes down around him. He acted like a Death Eater. ... Levicorpus. ... They were upside down. ... Those are the only thoughts running through his head as he shakes even harder, and the tears come faster. He has never cried so hard in his life.

"Oh, Merlin!"

He suddenly hears a very familiar voice near his ear, and even through the haze of tears and shaking and nausea consuming him, he recognizes it. Oh, God, he can't take it anymore - it's Lily. Lily Evans. Lily Evans is seeing him at the lowest, weakest, most vulnerable moment of his entire life.

He expects her to sneer, to walk away, even to utter some snide comment and spit the word "Potter" out like it's the most repulsive swearword, but she doesn't. Instead he feels arms wrap tightly around him, and it's as though she's trying to hold him together. "Oh, James," she whispers. "Oh, James."

Vaguely, he thinks, "She called me James, not Potter." But it doesn't bring the elation it would have done only a day ago, does not bring a cocky grin to his face and an arrogant strut to his step. No, he's too broken for that, and he can't ever see himself doing any of those things again. Instead, he just sobs harder as she holds him even tighter.

About a minute later, the nausea caused by his breakdown is too much for him, and he violently pulls himself away from Lily just in time. He retches and retches and retches all over himself, and afterwards, he still can't stop the shaking and shaking and shaking. Quickly, Lily Scourgefies his clothes and brings him back into her arms.

James doesn't know how long it is that he and Lily huddle there in that abandoned corridor while he weeps his heart out, weeps for the mistakes he has made, weeps for that boy who was so arrogant he thought the entire world revolved around him - for he is no longer that boy. James has been changed, irrevocably, and as his sobbing and shaking finally ceases, he looks into Lily's eyes and sees understanding there, and he knows at that moment that she knows it, too.

There is a long silence between them; it is not an uncomfortable one. It is just silence, the silence of two people who know things will never be the same again. But after a moment, it is broken as James says, in a croaky, hoarse voice, "Thanks ... Evans."

"Call me Lily," says the smart, beautiful girl next to him, giving him a small smile. "And you're welcome, James."


End file.
